Thursday, December 24, 2009

Through the eyes of this student..

Mine is a world that begins with school... I may not be smarter than most of the other kids, but this crap they teach us bores me...

'Damn underachiever. They're all alike.'

I'm in high school. I've listened to teachers explain for a hundred and fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

'Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.'

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

'Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.'

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

'Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike.'

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the words, the beauty of the work. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Everytime I look around..

Every time I turn around,
There's another face watching me
Every time I turn around,
There's another voice calling me
Every time I turn around,
There's another fool reading me
Every time I turn around,
There's another silence drowning me
Every time I look around,
There's another soul sold
Every time I look around,
There's another child getting a day old
Every time I look around,
I see the same scenes
A grown man stressed,
A mother serving some beans
Every time I look around,
A window's glass is slashed
Every time I look around,
There's another fool who just bragged
Every time I look around,
There's another stage set
Every time I look around,
People suffer from what they get

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's your own echo that made you move.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The plan revamped, processed to fit man. To make him grasp on to a vague notion that everything will be okay. The desperate, the heartless dragged down by a crippled will that hides its face in shame. There's too much pride to swallow in one gulp. It was so comical but as it turned out, I did not break into laughter. I wasn't laughing. I'm so sick of seeing the same role played with each possession gained. The smile on your face grows along with the void in your heart. "Money brings happiness", it was so well written. I detest your perfection and I choose to kill the script. I choose to act my way.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm just a stone, and I'll be alone.
Silence, at the threshold of life. Can you feel that empty body? Do you remember the way you lived. You're dying and all those years disappeared.
And then I ask," Why did you live?" Wasted time. You lived this way, even you don't know why. You'd like a few more days though, but there's no time. You want to turn back but you don't know how.
You're willing to give everything. For the last time, you'd like to see what you didnt realize, the wonderful Sun. You don't have a clue. Everything you had, is lost. So many deceits you went through. No more. And now, cry. Cry over the way. You lived all those years, and merely disappeared.

Pain. You would like to feel again.
Pleasure. You would love to laugh again.

But, you had your time. You had your time, and you bore no fruit. This is how it ends.. You go back, with nothing.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A look into the future.

A bomb hits the city and all life is instantly vapourized. But, I'm not so fortunate as I see buildings burn down right in front of me. Stumbling, I trip over pieces of descending flesh. Leaving behind the pile of smoldering humanoid remian. Radiation chasing, leading me to a nuclear grave.

Were we ready to fight world war III?

Yet, humanity somehow stood up on its mutated feet. Still filled with men with unnerving pride. Those who just won't accept their loss, their defeat, their end. And into missiles, they crammed disease and deadly poison. One by one they launched them to an unstoppable journey to kill off the last. I choke on my tongue. I see people vomiting blood. The gas from above is filling my lungs, taking over the little spaces.

And now there is nothing but darkness, and silence. The species of man is now extinct. All that remain are the boiling oceans, into which the continents sink slow and steady. The gravity's gone and the moon collides with a dead Earth. It leaves the flaming world out of orbit. Leaves it flying uncontrollably into deep space.

Were we ready for World War IV?

Friday, September 25, 2009

I turn inside of myself and look back into my past; into nothing. The best time in life was barely present. I wish I could go back and tell that nice little boy to be stronger, to be brave; but I can't. He had his chance. I burn, I scream, I despair on these thoughts of the past. I realize that I had barely lived, but just existed. It's too late now and my thoughts feed on this grief. The grief creates tears that burn my skin, unable to ease the pain. I float in hopelessness, for the time is gone and the boy is a man now. The end. A beginning for everything flows and we live to change; We live to learn. The future's still open and to be lived like the past has been wasted. And with hope in my heart I look forward..
I embrace, the depths of oblivion. I am engaged to the escapeable end. The void, that once was a strength, consuming, and fears became too intense; Destructive.

I behold the days that are numbered. In my prediction, the end has been forseen. I am unable to accept this failure. As weak as I am; I have no strength in me to pretend. The throne, that once marked my strength, is now a token of my failure.

Indifference, is my excuse
And ignorance, my refuge
My twisted personality,
Being senseless is my reality.

Sunday, September 20, 2009 Registered & Protected

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The topic I would like to touch today is a not-so-recent youtube video that has been revolving around Pakistan. It was about VJ Waqar telling(more like humiliating) a 'Defence-wanna-be' girl how to be a true Pakistani. According to VJ Waqar, the girl should have spoken pure Urdu; not a word of English. So he completely humiliated the girl, on air.

According to VJ Waqar:
The girl wrote in her description that she hated Pakistan. This was because of the usual reasons. Load-shedding, thefts, no facilities etc. HOW DARE SHE WRITE, SHE HATES PAKISTAN?! (Again, according to VJ Waqar) Girls should not speak English if they don't know how to. People(like that girl) should not be even allowed to remain on this soil if they don't love their country.

Giving a self-opinion of why Shehzeen(the girl) did that:
Well, mainly to act cool. She might have heard people saying that Pakistan's going to the dogs. She thought she'd rephrase it in her own words to 'fit in'. No harm meant. She must have written 'I hate Pakistan' because she considered other countries as better places. Even that point can be accepted.

Now, according to me:
I think VJ Waqar was way out of line and was completely wrong about his concepts. Even I felt weird when I heard she had written 'I hate Pakistan'; but I mean COME ON! She's a freakin' girl. Doesn't she deserve respect and a right to say what she wants? Everybody makes mistakes they regret later. Waqar isn't totally a best-man himself. I really don't think that beating up wrong-doers is a patriotic step. Going around like he rules the place; makes me sick!
The problem with this guy is the fact that he thinks everything can be solved on the tip of a sword. This is plain 'Ghunda-gardi'(<-- Emphasis). I think she has the right to say what she wants. Be it, she hates Pakistan. She's still living in it, right? This country was made on this basis; democracy. The right to say what you want, and do what you must. Free we are, and free we must remain.
Now that I started writing, I'll write another. (with a different approach)

The usual 'thinking-bulb' is back on. How easy it is to give an advice, and how hard it is to follow your own. The conversation goes like:

1st person: Pakistanis should do something about traffic problems. 'Pakistan Quid-e-Azam se chalta hay'(In this sense, it means money)
2nd person: Pakistan should improve the infrastructure.
And they went on and on and on and on and on....

Why don't they just shut the F#&@ up?! What do they mean by 'Pakistanis'? Are they not one of us?! Would saying 'we' be unbearably painful for them?! -sigh-

And that's where I knew my answer. I knew what our problem was, as I'm sure everyone does. All we can do is place our tushie on a fluffy little cushion and talk all we want. We can give 'advices', 'suggestions' and 'opinions'; but we never get our butts off of that cushion and try to change the world we live in. We criticize the people who actually want to make a difference. We point our fingers to the person who wants to do good. The worst part is; WE put our trust on the damned ones. We put our trust on the people who just care to how much we put in their pockets.

Ironically, the funny part is that we have just one answer: ''What can we do about it? I'm just one person, what big can I do?" That's plain pathetic. It takes one small pebble to bring down an avalanche. One small rock to take down an unstable cliff. YOU make a difference, they will follow. Me? I'm already way ahead of you. Convince a group, make them convince more. Convince the school, convince the area. Atleast TAKE A FREAKIN' STEP!! The thing is we don't want to make a change. We just want to get on with the roughed-up life we're used to. We throw bricks, at the person who wants those bricks to lay the foundations of a better life.

I noticed one very important thing. Do you remember on what date did Pakistan win the world cup this time? I asked this question a number of times from various people. Guess what? 90% of them.. don't remember. It really hurts to see that we don't value anything anymore. We, of all people, were the ones saying that WE can never win the World Cup!! It's more like a slap in the face for all those who did.

Bring a positive change in yourself. Inspire others, make them see the light. Raise a hand, raise a voice. Take a step now. Divided we fail, united we rule. Divided we fail, united we rule. DIVIDED WE FAIL, UNITED WE RULE!
Okay, I know I haven't written for a long time; but I seriously don't get any time. Lately, people have come to hasty conclusions about who I am and what I believe in. I live with 2 different parts of who I am.
1) Who I am online;
2) Who I am when I talk face-to-face;

So today, I'm going to write a short description about this 'duo-personality' I have been living with.

Personality (1):
Let's start off with the conclusions drawn through this blog. 'Black background', 'Blood' etc. The impression that I've been told is that I'm this 'Gothic-Emo' person, who's fascinated by nasty things. I like the colour Black, and so it has no relation to the crazy and un-humane stuff that I write. All that I've written so far is just a result of MAJOR boredom. Writing random stuff is what I do. I'm kind of well-known for that. If you tell a person(who knows me) I wrote this blog, he would never believe it. It's just something I do when I'm seriously out of things to do. I mean, you can't blame me. It really is very boring at 4 or 5 in the morning. Online(i.e Facebook, MSN), I'm even differnet. I make no sense, but I remain VERY optimistic. Giving away stupid comments and cracking a joke once(maybe thrice) in a while.

Personality (2):
If you exclude the internet, I'm a wholly different person. No pessimism; whatsoever. I go about a normal routine. Socializing, getting involved in sports, hanging out with friends that have no affiliation with the dark side. Leave me in a party with some loud music, you'll see me on the dance floor in less than a minute :D Nevertheless, teenage life is problematic. I go through bad times, and good times. Though that doesnt alter my mood. Nothing does, as a matter-of-fact(Except boredom).

So there we go. A small description of who I am inside-out and outside-in(Huh?) Peace..

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm certain he's rising. And I'm certain he'll come for you, my friend.
As they declared the innocent guilty, and dragged him through the crowd to where he would be hanged.. He looked up with a smile and said

You all will follow someday!

Monday, July 27, 2009

The sight of fire licking a burning house..
It emblazes years of possession, years of hard work..
Years of memories, years of joy..
Years of sorrow, years of grief..
Like nails scratching windows, the chills on my back drag me closer. Hearing the fire cracking..
Hearing it burning carelessly, without remorse.
No remorse!
Back to the beginning of the end. >:D
Lights out,
Satisfying their hunger with blood,
Eyes shut,
Falling deeper and deeper within,
New Crown,
Worn by the ruler of the damned.
With staring eyes, we are paralyzed.. While statues tremble with fear!

Do you dare? Do you dare to look around and see if someone's there..

Saturday, July 18, 2009

It rained yesterday.. and today. Why am I telling you this? Idiot.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The fiery dullness of the night.. gets to me. It makes me think stuff. Pleasant, yet horrible stuff. Is this the making of a maniac? Maybe.. maybe not.. maybe.. maybe not.. maybe..

Twisted Nerve,
Twisted Nerve.
Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick.. Tock.. Tick.. Tock.. Tick.... Tock... Tiiick.. Toooock...
My time.. comes closer.. closer.. closer.. so close.. yet so far.

Twisted Nerve,
Twisted Nerve.

Boy: Mommy, Mommy, can I go sit with that uncle in the park. The one with the black coat!
Mom (without looking): Alright. Be sure to be back in an hour.

Mom: Why isn't he back yet?
(Goes to look)
Finds child dead on the bench. Blood.. Sweet blood!

Twisted Nerve,
Twisted Nerve.
The mark.. of a ritual.
Flesh is.. fascinating. Fascinating how it stretches.. and burns.. and bleeds.. How come we never eat flesh? Blood looks tasty.. I wonder how it tastes..

Twisted Nerve,
Twisted Nerve.

Stop! Look at the stuff around you. Feel it without touching it. Go close to it.. Notice it.. 'see' it. Notice the little scars on it. Notice the bumps on the paint on your wall. Notice how the shirt you're wearing seems so fragile.. Notice how easy it for you to break all that around you..

Twisted Nerve,
Twisted Nerve.
When you are in a dark lonely room with the light's off, you know it's time.. It's time to let your creativity out, to let your mind out. That time to let your emotions out, to let your .. crazyness out.

Twisted nerve,
Twisted nerve.

If a person enters my room right now, they'll know that I'm a maniac meaning to kill someone. The moment to be.. lively is over. The moment to feel happy is over. THE MOMENT TO LET YOUR ANGER OUT HAS NOW BEGUN!!

Twisted nerve,
Twisted nerve.

It's weird seeing a knife beside the speakers. It is, but not if you're me right now.
*picks the knife up*. *tries to balance on firgertips* Oops!

Twisted nerve,
Twisted nerve.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides,
Hell burns by while the angel turns her pillow to the cooler side.

Tonight belongs to him.
To him.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

An Understanding that can lead to nothing, but progress!

For the past few days, I have spent quite a lot time thinking about how Pakistan can ricochet out of its bad times... And I regretfully have come to the conclusion that there is no way out. There is no way except... except the fact that we understand our priorities. Until and unless we learn that the only way to fight off a problem is not to try one's own strength, but to be united! Be one and whole. Be the united strength our ancestors seered... Be the Pakistan that stood strong, and certainly not the Pakistan that has been divided into sects, parties and groups!

29Th April'09 would have been a peaceful day like any other, if it were not for the mass killings across the city of Karachi. The killings of innocent people. Who cares if it was a internationally wanted criminal or a mere by-stander? It was still a life lost. A life that was important to many. A life that will remain set on the conscience of the killer. A life that bore the responsibilities of many. A life which had major impact on many things. Upon a family, which lost its breadwinner.Upon a son, who lost his father. Upon a wife, who lost her husband. Upon a mother, who lost her child. Man passes away; his name perishes from records and recollections; his history is a tale that is told; and his very monument becomes, but a ruin. Assassination has never altered the history of the world; yet a life saved always has.

We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves. Actions speak louder than words; but when have abrupt actions solved anything? 12Th May is going to be another such day. Why not think about putting our own opinions aside and learn to listen to others? Why not accept the possibility that we're not always right? Why not think about stepping back, so to let millions breathe freedom? Understanding can lead to nothing, but progress =)